Wednesday, 8 June 2011

Unticked boxes

There I was at the beginning of this year, doing some introspection, self-reflection and taking stock of events of the year past. Nolstagia had it's fair share of my already worn out heart and looking at my bucket list for the past year didn't make things any better. My heart sank each time I read out the list of things I had planned to do but had not got round to doing because I got so "busy" doing nothing, or was too afraid to look like a fool.
I have only myself to blame for being an expert at making excuses for never getting things done. If ever there was a champiom contemplator...I'd be up there with the creme de la creme!
I was doing it again, mourning and groaning, lending my time to gathering spilt milk...what if...oh what if! Vanity of vanities I would always conclude! Life is's all vanity! Yet the power was right there, not only in my hands but in every cell that constitutes my whole being. It wasn't until I realised, me would always be miserable because of me. Me is my worst enemy. Me is the greatest obstacle to my success.
It is only when I realised there needed to be alignment between me, myself and I that the complacency began to fade. My body (which I will call me), mind (myself) and heart (I), had to work in unison if I was to ever achieve anything at all.
"Myself" devised so many plans but "I" always asked, "Is it really possible?" and "me" would brush it off and say, "You can't!".
It was quite a rude awakening but one that was timely. Instead of the usual long list of "things to do", this year, everything fitted on less than half a page which the heading being, "Things to finish". Many at times I have started things, but lost interest or courage along the way because some parts of the "tripartite personal governace system" failed comply.
My past failure had never been due to choosing the wrong goals to pursue, or my ambitions being too great, but it was simply malfunctioning of parts that occured internally, month after month, year after year. Running around in circles while circles developed around my eyes, yet with little to show for it.
My resolution in the end was, don't put it on the list if me, myself and I are not in agreement to start with. If "me" is not conditioned for it, and "myself" cannot envision it then it will be impossible for "I" to believe in it.
One of the things on my list for this year was to take part in as many major sporting events as I possibly could. "Me" said "I need it, bring it on!", "myself" concured and said, "I can see it!" and "I" said, "I believe I can do it!".
Never had I stuck to a goal for this long before, but half way through the year, I am still going strong! Not because I am any smarter but realising that all of you has to be in everything I do, showed that indeed all things are possible.